I Dunk Therefore I Am

To stomp, or not to stomp, that is the question!
Whether 'tis nobler in teamfights to dodge
The shots of outrageous trebuchets,
Or to take endurance against a sea of AoE
And by dodgerolling, end them:
To shadow refuge, to stealth
No more; and by an explosion to say we end
The backstab and the hundred blades that bunkers are heir to?
'Tis a Dunk devoutly to be wished.

To stomp; to Dunk!
To Dunk, perchance to ROFLstomp; Aye, there's the Scrub!
For in that time of death, what respawn may come
When one hath stomped thine dps
Must give them pause...
There's the sustain that makes possible of so long life:
For who would bear the marks and wells of necros,
The thief's cluster bomb, the ranger's traps and pets,
The grenades of engis, the lag's delay,
The shatters of mesmer clones, and the AoE
That tryhard bunker of the clocktower takes.
When he himself might his Quietus make
With a single stomp?

Who would conditions bear,
To dodge and heal under focused dps,
But that the dread of neutralization after death,
The clocktower point, from whose teamfight
No glass cannon returns, puzzles the player
And makes us rather spam those cooldowns which we have,
Than fly to sidepoints that we know not of.

Thus teamfights do make tryhards of us all,
And thus the red hue of points captured
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of neutralizing,
And teamfights of great burst and CC,
With clock neutral, their purpose turns gory,
And lose the name of Dunking.

Stomp you now, the down'd thief?
Stealth, in thy shadow refuge
Be all your teammates Dunk'd.

~ Artwork by for Maple.2936

~ Written by (IGN: Maple Maple)

~ Inspiration from lhatuey, Rippii, LStein, Wrathgarr and Shakespeare

~ Guild Wars 2 belongs to ArenaNet